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I have come a long way.



I use to pop pills like candy.



I was addicted to sex.



I use to cut myself, then reverted to piercing myself instead of cutting.



I use to run away from home.



I use to beat my mom and brother.



I was an angry child and had no way to get it out. Sometimes it felt like I was dying, not because of depression, but the anger killed me.



I hated myself, I would look in the mirror and name reasons why I was insufficient to be called a human being.



I went to Job Corp for a change, there I met Sam (my husband), and fell in love.



I still hated myself, I remembered all the things I had done, what I still did, and what I thought I would do in the future.



I loved him, but felt ashamed to be around him. I thought he was better than me, I stiil do. He is my better half.



We got married. We were happy. We had a baby. Which just echoed our joy even more.



Then.......................we slowly started falling apart.



He and I did numerous things to eachother, things I won't name.



We split-up twice, and it killed me inside. I felt like I had died a second time.



Because the anger that slayed me the first time, had created a new enemy to slay me again.



Sam and I are back together, and doing much better. We plan on getting remarried, and we are trying to have another child.



But I had to come to terms with myself. I had and still have to let go of the anger. I had to realize that nothing's perfect, but that doesn't mean just because someone or something's not perfect that it marrs the value.



Everything good in your life is priceless. YOU ARE priceless. I am priceless.



Don't let anger kill you like it did me.

COMMENTS

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DarkLight1984
11:54 Apr 10 2009

This entry has touched me. I am dealing with anger issues of my own. I feel the same way around velvet 101 as you did your husband. I feel like I don't deserve to be around her. I often feel like I'm becoming an uncontrollable monster. My anger is now rage within me and I have found myself releasing it on several objects around me now. I often wonder how much longer till I finally snap and hurt people as I once did in my past. Please tell me if you found something to help you. I'm looking desperately for something to help me before it completely destroys me.

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